|'Kun Faya Kun' |
Film: Rockstar (2011)
Music: A.R. Rahman
This blog was named after a song that I listened to a lot during the last few months of my father's life. The song made tears fall even at that time, not just because his name appears in it but because of its aching sweetness and its longing for surrender to God.
I try not to venture into commentary on religion and/or spirituality even among friends, leave alone on an internet platform. But I guess my thoughts would naturally pervade my writing and be expressed unconsciously. Religion is personal and one can never be completely subjective about it. Atheism and agnoticism is also a lens of subjectivity, in my opinion. But then again, I'd rather refrain from commenting on an aspect of human life that is so connected with death, a philosophy that is so powerfully individualistic and collective at the same time, a choice or way of life that is so outwardly projected, and yet so deep, deep within, a blanket that secures, an anchor that grounds, wings that liberate, a choice of brand for a soul-feeling that can and never should be explained...
"Ranga Reza, rang mera tann, mera mann
lene rangayee chahe tann, chahe tann"
The song talks about a lot, delivered in true A.R. Rahman Sufi manner, not perfect, but purely devotional and ambient in its sweeping embrace of the bittersweet nature of human existence and the desperate need to become one with God, or lost in the divine.
In the song, Mohit Chauhan sings to Irshad Kamil's lyrics
"...Kar de mujhe mujhse hi riha"
That line appeals to the spiritual side of me. I love myself. Life is beautiful but we want more, don't we? Or is it just when we're sad and lost and bereaved?
I will restrain myself from asking the usual questions that plague me - where do we go when we are not we anymore? Why do we seek that?
We celebrate the life of those gone, rewinding and reviewing their memories but do we realise that they are not them anymore? Ranga Reza is my father to me, but he is beyond that now. He is so much more.